… I am not religious in the sense of adherence to a specific religion in both belief and specific practice but I have been asking questions. You know how we are engulfed in finding ways to make sense of it all here, attempting cross moves at the big puzzle, pasting ideals, concepts & practices together in an attempt to make “whole” what is perceived by us to be separated, fragmented particles of life.
As we grow aware of the futility in climbing up mountains that will lead us to apparent “success” we must eventually confess to ourselves, later rather than sooner, that where they lead up to is to: nowhere. It seems temporarily great when all goes well as we reach a new mountain peak and it feels awful as we end up in the pits of impermanence when we hang head down from a tree as we fall. This is the never ending story of life on earth, the life of the eternal distractions. The speed with which we set the new goal without taking a break is appalling. Wether we made it all the way to the top or we fell from the hill the fact is we begin immediately looking for the next mountain peak to push that rock up to, that new goal. We start again by choosing from the multiplicity of options available to us in the world, from personal to professional, roads to follow in an attempt to find fulfillment. Of what?
The Course in Miracles says it all begins with the phrase “There must be a different way”… as there certainly must be… Yet we must get very tired of pushing rocks, first. Until we do there will be no question asked.
And we must wait patiently for a question to arise.
Still people (like me) who know it makes no sense to push yet another rock up the mountain expecting new results, will willingly “forget” this. I suspect it’s out of fear of what this acceptance really means, a defense of sorts. If attaining does not fill the emptiness of existential angst permanently, a huge void inevitably follows. What is this nonsensical world I think I see? Who is the fragmented I that seeks an answer? What is this thing I am?
We don’t ask questions that we are not ready to hear the answers to, however we will defend. I am beginning to believe forgiveness of this defense against Higher Nature will be most of the real work on earth for me… a smile at the curve. Not a huge rock carried up the highest peak, not a big personal contribution to Truth, but a smile at the face of impossible attainment. Stop trying to make it serious, begin laughing, at myself & everything. That is the huge conquering for me. Who dares be so small as to let all be answered for him by that Mystery? Who dares live with lightheartedness at the face of such self unimportance?
– Lorena, (excerpt of a letter to a friend in Denmark). August, 2012.
“The Myth of Sisyphus is a philosophical essay by Albert Camus published originally in 1942 in French as “Le Mythe de Sisyphe.In the essay, Camus introduces his philosophy of the absurd: man’s futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: “No. It requires revolt.” He then outlines several approaches to the absurd life. The final chapter compares the absurdity of man’s life with the situation of Sisyphus, a figure of Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. The essay concludes, “The struggle itself […] is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” – Wikipedia.